Surgery, Stress, and Other Words That Start With S (but mostly surgery)

Last week was tough, y’all.

I got a call from my mom on Monday saying, “Don’t freak out but I’m taking myself to the emergency room,” which, of course, made me freak out. On Wednesday, I had a doctor’s visit and got told I need surgery on my face. On Thursday, I had an accounting test. Have y’all heard me talk about the last accounting test? It was only 6 questions, and I only got around to answering 4 of them. Well, 4.5. Whatever. It was awful. That’s all that matters. See why I had a rough week?

Some of you are probably going, “Lyssa shut up about accounting; what do you mean surgery what’s wrong with your face?” Glad you asked. I went to the ENT last month to see what the heck is up with my sinuses and the ENT sent me to get xrays. Apparently, those xrays show that I have a mass of bone growing into my sinus cavity. If you hadn’t guessed it, that mass of bone isn’t supposed to be there so I have to get it taken out. In the words of my doctor, at least it’s growing up and not out so I don’t have any weird lumps or protrusions. At the same time they take out the bone, they’re also going to correct my deviated septum. My uncle, who’s a dentist, says that this is very normal and not harmful and happens to a lot of people and there’s nothing to be nervous about.

Unfortunately he told me this AFTER I had already had a nervous breakdown in the doctor’s office. I should have NEVER asked cute doctor to explain to me what the surgery entailed. That was horrible.

To be fair to myself, I managed to hold off on the nervous breakdown until I got out of the doctor’s office (but barely). No sobbing in front of the cute doctor, please. But when I say “breakdown” I mean “broke ALL the way down.” It was embarrassing. But seriously, how else was I supposed to react to, “Oh you have a bone chunk-callous-thing in your face that we’re gonna have to cut out; see you next month!” THERE IS SOMETHING GROWING IN MY FACE. I FEEL LIKE I’M IN A SCI-FI MOVIE AND AN ALIEN’S GONNA POP OUT AND SMITE THE EARTH. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

Pretty sure cute doctor knew I was about to freak out, too. I got a very sympathetic pat on the back as I left.

I also may end up with braces after this because my other uncle had this same issue as a kid and he had to get braces. I am not pleased. People already think I’m still in high school. This will not help. But braces or not, I will be out of commission for about a week in December. I actually need to go ahead and call to schedule it, and schedule a consult with the oral surgeon too. Scheduling. That starts with s.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, I got a B on that accounting exam. Success!! That’s another word that starts with s. So does Sleepy Hollow!

Tell me I’m not the only here who watches Sleepy Hollow. It’s on Fox’s Demand channel, so after I got home from the ENT on Wednesday I just kind of fell on the couch and turned it on to make myself stop freaking out. I watched 3 episodes in a row and I’m really impressed with the story building and Nicole Beharie’s acting. Orlando Jones is in it and I love him (he’s from Mauldin!), and John Cho, and I just read an article that Amandla Sandberg is going to be in upcoming episodes as Orlando Jones’s daughter and there are just so many good people in it! I’m excited, okay? I need a new show to replace OUAT and True Blood since those were really the only things I ever turned the TV on for and both have gone to pot.


Also this is super late, but thank you to everyone who wished me happy birthday! A mes amis belges/français, merci d’avoir me souhaité un bon annif!

Happy birthday to me!

As a lot of y’all probably know, my birthday was Sunday! I love birthdays; they’re pretty much the one day out of the year where you can do pretty much whatever you want. They’re also the one day out of the year where you’re pretty much guaranteed to find out who’s got you on their mind. As usual, I was surprised by some of the people who told me happy birthday. I was also surprised by some of the people who didn’t.

Certain relatives of mine are in BIG trouble. You know who you are.

I know some of you guys actually called me and got met with my voicemail. I saw that you called. I just can’t call you. My phone got stolen the day before my birthday (sucks, right?), so I’m currently using a spare phone that I keep in my closet for such emergencies as this. It’s the original Motorola Droid, if that doesn’t tell you how old it is, and half the touch screen doesn’t work so 95% of the time I can’t unlock the dang thing and 95% of the time I can’t answer incoming calls. It’s hard on the yard, man. It’s hard.

What did I do for my birthday, you ask? Well Friday I hung out with my friends (i.e., “we ate pizza and watched movies and baked secret smores”), Saturday I did a little shopping, and Sunday I had dinner with some of my relatives at Outback. Wanna know what I did before my birthday?

I bought myself a car! That’s right, folks: I know longer have to bum rides off of people, or get dropped off anywhere, or have to wait on someone to come pick me up when I go places! No one is happier about this than me. Except for my mom. And probably my friends who have been ferrying me around since we got our licenses. Shout out to Jordan and Mollie. Y’all are troopers, man.

This is my car! It’s a 2002 Kia Sportage and people keep telling me that it “fits me,” which is good, I suppose, considering I’ll be driving it even after I get that much coveted 3-series BMW. Or an Audi. Audis are nice. I’ve decided that my car is a girl, and now she needs a name. I name EVERYTHING. If anyone has suggestions, let me know. Seriously. I can’t think of one, and I’m about 5 seconds from calling her Elvendork. I don’t want to call her Elvendork, even if it is unisex. (someone please understand that reference or I will lose faith in humanity)

So now I’m 24, and even though 24 isn’t considered a milestone birthday I’m going to say it is because for the first time in my relatively new adult life I actually feel like an adult. I don’t know what happened, but on Sunday at midnight it kind of hit me in the face that I’m really not a kid anymore (or a stupid teenager). I have 1.5 college degrees and certifications from fancy foreign offices. I have a passport (with stamps in it!). I have insurance. I have bills. I have loans. I have credit (good credit, too). I have a job (so what if it’s only part time). I haven’t asked my mom for pocket money in MONTHS. I’m in the market for a savings account. I spend more time on LinkedIn than I do on Facebook. I hate going to the mall on weekends because there are so many freaking teenagers and none of them have any home training (people who had kids in the 90s/early 2000s, I HATE YOU). I paid for my car in full. I pay taxes. I pay tags.

Can we talk about that tags thing for a second? Do y’all know I paid $200+ for my license plate? Isn’t that labor subsidized through the prison system? (srsly, isn’t that where tags come from??) WHAT DO YOU NEED $200 FOR, SOUTH CAROLINA?? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THAT MONEY GOES BECAUSE IT FOR DANG SURE ISN’T FOR EDUCATION.

The point is, after years of thinking how awesome it must be to be a grown up, I finally find myself with one foot firmly planted in adulthood. Is it awesome? I don’t know; I’m not all the way there yet. Is it scary? Not really. It’s a lot like college, only no one drinks on Thursdays anymore and you have to pay for your football tickets. Am I alright with that? Yes. Yes I am.

But being alright with it didn’t stop me from going, “...nope!” once I realized it and starting a 3-hour marathon game of The Sims 3.


Don’t look at me like you’ve never played The Sims for 3+ hours. You’re a friend of mine. Of course you have.