The Valentine's Edition

It's Valentine's Day, y'all. Some of you have had Valentine's Day all week because you've been snowed in and were boo'd up at the house. Good for you. I hope you're happy.

(Ignore the implied bitterness there; it was a joke.)

Happy Valentine's Day! I sincerely hope that those of you who were trapped in the house with your significant other all week are not now so sick of them that you're thinking about returning those chocolates, or whatever it is that the Boo'd Up buy each other on V-Day. I am not boo'd up, nor have I ever been, so I have no idea.

(That wasn't bitterness per se; more like the deep breath before the plunge)

This year, I'm single on Valentine's Day. For that matter, I'm single every Valentine's Day. No one make comments about how sad that is. I honestly don't care. At the same time, there comes a point in a girl's life where she has to wonder if it's normal that she'll be 25 in 8 months and has never crushed on anyone less famous than Joseph Gordon-Levitt (seriously guys he is so cute). It's easy to buy into the unmarriable/unlovable Black woman trope when it's been a quiet understanding from the last few guys you might have been into that you weren't what they were expected to bring home to Mama. Y'all know what I mean. It's easy to feel like you're doing something wrong in your life when you're the last single cousin and your relatives tell you every chance they get, "I can't wait for you to get a man; you'll feel so much better."

But that's not me! Not today it's not! Y'all post all the cute "Look what bae got me" pictures on Instagram that you want. I'm going to get myself a new book to read now that the roads are clear, I'm going to pick up something cute for my mom, and I'm going to flex my culinary chops in my really great but underused kitchen. I have 3 words for y'all: Turtle. Brownie. Pies. That's right. Be jealous. Again I say happy Valentine's Day. And since literary humor is fun....

The Problem with Apathy

Two weeks ago, I applied for graduation and it didn’t feel anything like I remembered.

There was no sudden lightheartedness at the weight of college being lifted off my shoulders, no urge to cut cartwheels all over the house, no overwhelming joy. It didn’t feel like anything at all. It was like I was one of those women on Say Yes to the Dress that expects a big, teary-eyed AHA moment when they find the perfect gown, and then they get to Kleinfeld’s and nothing happens.

I remember exactly what it felt like in undergrad when it sank in that I was finally graduating. I had spent the 24 hours previous running all over hill and country trying to get a last-minute class substitution (because it’s never as easy as your adviser says it is), and was up all night rewriting an old paper leftover from engineering to make sure that class got substituted. I’m pretty sure I cried for 9 straight hours because there was a serious chance my request was going to get denied. I remember that the sun was shining that day and the sky was blue. It felt like cold relief.

Nothing like that happened this time. I just hit submit, closed my laptop, and watched Duck Dynasty for the next 4 hours. (I can see y’all judging me, and I’m telling you right now I don’t care)

My lack of reaction was disappointing.

I have fought Clemson tooth and nail for six long years. I hate the place. You guys know that. And all of that hate needs to manifest itself somehow, because it can’t stay bottled up inside of me. Most often it appears as snark and anger, both fueled by too much caffeine since I'm not much for drinking. It never wells up and dissolves into 4 hours of Duck Dynasty on my couch. I didn’t think too much about it at the time, but some time last week I had a horrifying thought.


Is apathy what happens when you stop caring and start settling?

The Easy Let-Down

Earlier on this week I thought to myself, “I have no idea what to write about.” I was drawing a blank. Nothing exciting, infuriating, or otherwise important had happened, I was fresh out of rants, and I was feeling, well, boring. Then I walked into work this morning, and as I was being laid off I thought to myself, “Well there’s a blog post for you,” and here we are.

This morning, I got laid off.

I’m not upset about it. I’m pretty sure the ones letting me go felt worse about it than I did. That’s not to say that I didn’t like my job--I’ve said over and over how much I surprised myself by liking it as much as I did. It just means that I’m practical. And I saw it coming.

Honestly, I’m glad it was me because I’m a 24 year old kid without any responsibilities. I live at home with my mom. I don’t have a mortgage, or rent. I paid for my car in cash, so no note there. My student loans haven’t kicked in because I’m still a student. The only bill I really have is $160 in car insurance every month. And tithes. Can’t forget that 10%. I don’t have credit card debt. I don’t have a spouse to support. I don’t have kids (thank God). I don’t have any of that. Let it be me who goes home today without a job.

So here I find myself suddenly with a lot more free time. A lot more free time. And I’m kind of at a loss for what to do with it. I have so many personal projects that I’ve let fall by the wayside just because I haven’t had the time to work on them. I was learning to sew. I was learning Spanish. I was learning Mandarin. I was running several blogs outside of this one. I was practicing my MBA-ness on a family business. I was reading roughly 2 extracurricular books a week. I was doing my eyebrows on a regular basis (excuse you that is WERK). And now I have time to do all of that again. That’s my plan, and I’m sticking to it.


But, uh, if y’all come across a job you think a BA-toting polyglot and future MBA would be a good fit for.... Let me know.

Surgery, Stress, and Other Words That Start With S (but mostly surgery)

Last week was tough, y’all.

I got a call from my mom on Monday saying, “Don’t freak out but I’m taking myself to the emergency room,” which, of course, made me freak out. On Wednesday, I had a doctor’s visit and got told I need surgery on my face. On Thursday, I had an accounting test. Have y’all heard me talk about the last accounting test? It was only 6 questions, and I only got around to answering 4 of them. Well, 4.5. Whatever. It was awful. That’s all that matters. See why I had a rough week?

Some of you are probably going, “Lyssa shut up about accounting; what do you mean surgery what’s wrong with your face?” Glad you asked. I went to the ENT last month to see what the heck is up with my sinuses and the ENT sent me to get xrays. Apparently, those xrays show that I have a mass of bone growing into my sinus cavity. If you hadn’t guessed it, that mass of bone isn’t supposed to be there so I have to get it taken out. In the words of my doctor, at least it’s growing up and not out so I don’t have any weird lumps or protrusions. At the same time they take out the bone, they’re also going to correct my deviated septum. My uncle, who’s a dentist, says that this is very normal and not harmful and happens to a lot of people and there’s nothing to be nervous about.

Unfortunately he told me this AFTER I had already had a nervous breakdown in the doctor’s office. I should have NEVER asked cute doctor to explain to me what the surgery entailed. That was horrible.

To be fair to myself, I managed to hold off on the nervous breakdown until I got out of the doctor’s office (but barely). No sobbing in front of the cute doctor, please. But when I say “breakdown” I mean “broke ALL the way down.” It was embarrassing. But seriously, how else was I supposed to react to, “Oh you have a bone chunk-callous-thing in your face that we’re gonna have to cut out; see you next month!” THERE IS SOMETHING GROWING IN MY FACE. I FEEL LIKE I’M IN A SCI-FI MOVIE AND AN ALIEN’S GONNA POP OUT AND SMITE THE EARTH. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

Pretty sure cute doctor knew I was about to freak out, too. I got a very sympathetic pat on the back as I left.

I also may end up with braces after this because my other uncle had this same issue as a kid and he had to get braces. I am not pleased. People already think I’m still in high school. This will not help. But braces or not, I will be out of commission for about a week in December. I actually need to go ahead and call to schedule it, and schedule a consult with the oral surgeon too. Scheduling. That starts with s.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, I got a B on that accounting exam. Success!! That’s another word that starts with s. So does Sleepy Hollow!

Tell me I’m not the only here who watches Sleepy Hollow. It’s on Fox’s Demand channel, so after I got home from the ENT on Wednesday I just kind of fell on the couch and turned it on to make myself stop freaking out. I watched 3 episodes in a row and I’m really impressed with the story building and Nicole Beharie’s acting. Orlando Jones is in it and I love him (he’s from Mauldin!), and John Cho, and I just read an article that Amandla Sandberg is going to be in upcoming episodes as Orlando Jones’s daughter and there are just so many good people in it! I’m excited, okay? I need a new show to replace OUAT and True Blood since those were really the only things I ever turned the TV on for and both have gone to pot.


Also this is super late, but thank you to everyone who wished me happy birthday! A mes amis belges/français, merci d’avoir me souhaité un bon annif!

Happy birthday to me!

As a lot of y’all probably know, my birthday was Sunday! I love birthdays; they’re pretty much the one day out of the year where you can do pretty much whatever you want. They’re also the one day out of the year where you’re pretty much guaranteed to find out who’s got you on their mind. As usual, I was surprised by some of the people who told me happy birthday. I was also surprised by some of the people who didn’t.

Certain relatives of mine are in BIG trouble. You know who you are.

I know some of you guys actually called me and got met with my voicemail. I saw that you called. I just can’t call you. My phone got stolen the day before my birthday (sucks, right?), so I’m currently using a spare phone that I keep in my closet for such emergencies as this. It’s the original Motorola Droid, if that doesn’t tell you how old it is, and half the touch screen doesn’t work so 95% of the time I can’t unlock the dang thing and 95% of the time I can’t answer incoming calls. It’s hard on the yard, man. It’s hard.

What did I do for my birthday, you ask? Well Friday I hung out with my friends (i.e., “we ate pizza and watched movies and baked secret smores”), Saturday I did a little shopping, and Sunday I had dinner with some of my relatives at Outback. Wanna know what I did before my birthday?

I bought myself a car! That’s right, folks: I know longer have to bum rides off of people, or get dropped off anywhere, or have to wait on someone to come pick me up when I go places! No one is happier about this than me. Except for my mom. And probably my friends who have been ferrying me around since we got our licenses. Shout out to Jordan and Mollie. Y’all are troopers, man.

This is my car! It’s a 2002 Kia Sportage and people keep telling me that it “fits me,” which is good, I suppose, considering I’ll be driving it even after I get that much coveted 3-series BMW. Or an Audi. Audis are nice. I’ve decided that my car is a girl, and now she needs a name. I name EVERYTHING. If anyone has suggestions, let me know. Seriously. I can’t think of one, and I’m about 5 seconds from calling her Elvendork. I don’t want to call her Elvendork, even if it is unisex. (someone please understand that reference or I will lose faith in humanity)

So now I’m 24, and even though 24 isn’t considered a milestone birthday I’m going to say it is because for the first time in my relatively new adult life I actually feel like an adult. I don’t know what happened, but on Sunday at midnight it kind of hit me in the face that I’m really not a kid anymore (or a stupid teenager). I have 1.5 college degrees and certifications from fancy foreign offices. I have a passport (with stamps in it!). I have insurance. I have bills. I have loans. I have credit (good credit, too). I have a job (so what if it’s only part time). I haven’t asked my mom for pocket money in MONTHS. I’m in the market for a savings account. I spend more time on LinkedIn than I do on Facebook. I hate going to the mall on weekends because there are so many freaking teenagers and none of them have any home training (people who had kids in the 90s/early 2000s, I HATE YOU). I paid for my car in full. I pay taxes. I pay tags.

Can we talk about that tags thing for a second? Do y’all know I paid $200+ for my license plate? Isn’t that labor subsidized through the prison system? (srsly, isn’t that where tags come from??) WHAT DO YOU NEED $200 FOR, SOUTH CAROLINA?? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THAT MONEY GOES BECAUSE IT FOR DANG SURE ISN’T FOR EDUCATION.

The point is, after years of thinking how awesome it must be to be a grown up, I finally find myself with one foot firmly planted in adulthood. Is it awesome? I don’t know; I’m not all the way there yet. Is it scary? Not really. It’s a lot like college, only no one drinks on Thursdays anymore and you have to pay for your football tickets. Am I alright with that? Yes. Yes I am.

But being alright with it didn’t stop me from going, “...nope!” once I realized it and starting a 3-hour marathon game of The Sims 3.


Don’t look at me like you’ve never played The Sims for 3+ hours. You’re a friend of mine. Of course you have.

I'm back, y'all!

I feel like I start a lot of blog posts with some variation of, "Long time no post." I'm not going to do that today. I'm not even going to apologize and promise to do better because let's be honest: we all know that that is a lie.

Grad school is back in full force! Classes have been in session for roughly a month right about now, and I only have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That sounds awesome, but it's not because I also have 2 online classes and a lot of work to get done at all times. The group work is thankfully being kept to a minimum this semester, and 2 out of 3 of my professors have mostly discussion based classes. I don't think I've ever had discussion based classes that weren't upper level language courses. Color me surprised.

This semester, I'm taking the following:
MBA 854: Managerial Accounting
MBA 870: Strategic Management
MBA 888: Internship
MBA 899: Creativity (this is not a joke)
MKT 861: Marketing Research

That's 15 credit hours, which doesn't sound like a lot considering I did 21 all during undergrad, but considering it's the maximum amount the grad school allows.... I'm stretched pretty thin. I dropped one class and replaced it with 899 because it was just going to be way too much work. Only one course requires constant group work, which is great, and I like all of my professors, which is a pleasant change from last year and undergrad. I even tried to hate one of them and couldn't. I hate it when that happens.

I'm still working part time, and will be for the foreseeable future. I'm also debating whether or not I should buy myself a car--let me tell you, that is hands down the most stressful thing in my life right now. I can't decide whether I want to go ahead and spend the money or wait until I have an actual job to take the plunge, I'm vehemently mistrustful of used cars and used car dealers, and we're not even going to talk about Craigslist. Let's not even go there.

I'm also sick. Because the seasons are changing. My face swelled up a bit at work Friday, and I lost my voice after walking from Joy of Tokyo to the car, and from the car to the front door of the office after lunch. One day, I will remember to call and make an appointment with the ENT. Until that day comes, I will suffer.

So that's where I am. I'm really busy, constantly feeling like I'm forgetting to do something, and unable to properly breathe. I do, however, want to add more things to my plate. I want to take up Mandarin again, or German. I want to keep going with Spanish. I want to start working on my book again. I want to start posting here more.

We'll start with the easiest thing: posting here more. What I want to do is start writing posts ahead of time so that I have them in reserve, and all I have to do when it comes time to make a post is hit "publish." Consider this my recommitment  to The BBB, since y'all have missed my wit and whatnots during this long absence :]

Coming up soon:
* Quarter-life crises
* The Job Hunt
* The University of Alabama sorority recruitment scandal
* How do I adult??
and much, much more!

Diets, Novels, and Economics: A Really Random, Really Rambly Update

I bet you guys are wondering what the heck I've been doing in the 2 months between the last thing I posted and the Trayvon Martin post, haven't you? Well you're in luck, because I'm going to tell you!

First and foremost I finished my first semester of grad school. I was going to write something bittersweet about it, but I didn't have anything bittersweet to say. I did manage to maintain my 3.0, so I'm not kicked out. When final grades came in I literally fell on the floor and rolled around screaming. Ask Jordan. She knows. There may have even been tears.

Then I got a job! I'm working at a nonprofit small business lender as a part-time business finance intern. I've been told several times that my job sounds really boring, and if I was someone else I'd think so too, but I'm surprising myself by liking it! The office is small and the people are friendly and I'm only an awkward turtle 47% of the time.

My mom has put the whole house on a diet because she wants to stop eating Swiss Rolls so much. There's a little more to it than that, but that's what I mostly took away from her reasoning. I can no longer have bread. I've been hungry for a week, and I hate everything. EVERYTHING.

I'm also taking a summer class, which I have never done in my life. Because I grew up in the US education system, I equate summer school with failure. I'm having problems here, people. Some serious mental blocks are being torn down. I'm powering through it though, and it looks like I might get out of Managerial Economics with a decent grade. Shout out to the homie Kevin for putting together an impromptu lesson on derivatives for me! Having math major friends comes in handy.

I'm going through another quarter-life crisis, but more on that another day. In the meantime, please be cognizant of the fact that during July of 2013, I wrote a novel.

Okay, I wrote 1/3 of a novel. But still. I pounded out 50,000 words in 30 days. Any of y'all ever done that before? It was torture, but the kind that hurts-so-good. I fully plan to finish it, and do a lot of editing, and maybe one day I'll try and get it published. We'll see.